...I'm going to tread in the waters of SAHM "VS" Working Mom

First, let me say that I think the "VS" there is actually an imaginary line drawn by bitter people trying to cope with guilt. I absolutely believe in black and white issues, but this just isn't one of them. Either option means making sacrifices. Neither option means a mother is lazy, weak, selfish, or irresponsible. It's too easy to give in to the quips and comments or to jump on the bandwagon of putting one option down to make yourself feel better about the choice you made. I think the following about sums it up for me:

"Isn't it true that at some point in motherhood, all mothers are SAHMs? Some might come home for three weeks after delivering their newborns while others stay home for years, but the idea that all you knew before you became a stay-at-home mom is of no value... is ridiculous. For me, I found the time at home was a great opportunity to renegotiate my life, priorities and choices. In many ways, going back to the playground allowed me to rest the girl that had worked so hard and pushed so much to make it. It allowed me to reevaluate...and gave me the opportunity to get off of the roller coaster of "should" and "ought".  (A Woman's Choice: The Right To Stay Home)
 

When I became a SAHM, I left not just a job, but a real career. I worked in law enforcement telecommunications, and I worked with some of the most talented, amazing people I'll ever know. I left an exhilarating, fast-paced job. It was IMPORTANT. It was interesting and challenging! The schedule was hectic, but the pay was great, the insurance was awesome, and it was awfully nice to know I'd have a cushy retirement when it was all over.

I gave up a lot, but when I became a SAHM I gained not just a new life, but a new and different sense of fulfillment. I still work with some of the most talented, amazing people I know- the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with, and the brilliant, beautiful baby girl I get to spend the rest of my life caring for. I have an exhilirating, fast-paced job. I am IMPORTANT. My new position is interesting and challenging. The schedule is hectic, I don't get days off or lunch breaks. The pay isn't monetary. I don't get insurance anymore, and that retirement plan...kaput.

Make no mistake, if I had returned to work as planned, there would be an equivalent set of paragraphs listing sacrifices and gains. To sum it up, I'll end this one with a combo of my words and a paraphrase from Mia Redrick:

No matter what your choice is, you will be heckled for it. Suck it up, and know that the moment you get clear on why you made the choice you did (and not in a defensive way- from a perspective that allows you to be comfortable with your choice without feeling the need to explain yourself) then the hecklers won't sound so loud.