THE
LOVE DARE, 40 Days Love Journey
Day 1: Love is patient
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with
one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
The
first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a
number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the
next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your
spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s
better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret
Day 2: Love is kind
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each
other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. —Ephesians
4:32
TODAY’S DARE
In
addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one
unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Day 3: Love is not selfish
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference
to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10
TODAY’S DARE
Whatever
you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you.
It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with
restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was
thinking of you today.”
Day 4: Love is thoughtful
How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . .How vast is
the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.—Psalm
139:17–18
TODAY’S DARE
Contact
your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than
asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
Day 5: Love is not rude
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the
morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. —Proverbs
27:14
TODAY’S DARE
Ask
your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable
or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your
behavior. This is from their perspective only.
Day 6: Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he
who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. —Proverbs
16:32
TODAY’S DARE
Choose
today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of
with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add
margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to
release from your life.
Day 7: Love believes the best
[Love] believes all things, hopes all things. —1
Corinthians 13:7
TODAY’S DARE
For
today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes
writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative
things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another
day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the
remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank
your spouse for having this characteristic.
Day 8: Love is not jealous
Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the
grave. It burns like blazing fire. —Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Determine
to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To
help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take
yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with
your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Day 9: Love makes good impressions
Greet one another with a kiss of love. —1
Peter 5:14
TODAY’S DARE Think of a specific way
you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.
Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
Day 10: Love is unconditional
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we
were yet sinners, Christ died for us. —Romans 5:8
TODAY’S DARE
Do
something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to
you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash
her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry.
Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Day 11: Love cherishes
Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own
bodies. —Ephesians 5:28
TODAY’S DARE
What need does your spouse have that you
could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is
there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish
you” and do it with a smile.
Day 12: Love lets the other win
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but
also for the interests of others. —Philippians 2:4
TODAY’S DARE
Demonstrate
love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you
and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
Day 13: Love fights fair
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be
able to stand. —Mark 3:25
TODAY’S DARE
Talk
with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate
is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by.
Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.If a house is
divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
Day 14: Love takes delight
Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your
fleeting life. —Ecclesiastes 9:9 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
Purposefully
neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with
your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really
like to work on. Just be together.
Day 15: Love is honorable
Live with your wives in an understanding way . . . and show
her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. —1
Peter 3:7
TODAY’S DARE
Choose
a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal
routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes
away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication.
Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.
Day 16: Love intercedes
Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be
in good health, just as your soul prospers. —3
John 2
TODAY’S DARE
Begin
praying today for your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you
desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.
Day 17: Love promotes intimacy
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever
repeats the matter separates close friends. —Proverbs
17:9 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Determine
to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and
to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in
spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts
and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.
Day 18: Love seeks to understand
How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who
gains understanding.—Proverbs 3:13
TODAY’S DARE
Prepare
a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as
you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in
areas you’ve rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for
you and your mate.
Day 19: Love is impossible
Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone
who loves is born of God and knows God. —1 John 4:7
TODAY’S DARE
Look
back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible
to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give
you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask
for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.
Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ
While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died
for the ungodly. —Romans 5:6
TODAY’S DARE
Dare
to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to
pray, “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying
to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by
Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”
Day 21: Love is satisfied in God
The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your
desire. —Isaiah 58:11
TODAY’S DARE
Be
intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading
a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one—a full month’s
supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).
As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will
add to your growth as you walk with Him.
Day 22: Love is faithful
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know
the Lord. —Hosea 2:20
TODAY’S DARE
Love
is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk
reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost
most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to
these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in
return.”
Day 23: Love always protects
[Love] always protects. —1
Corinthians 13:7 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Remove
anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s
stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
Day 24: Love vs. Lust
The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one
who does the will of God lives forever. —1 John 2:17
TODAY’S DARE
End
it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out
every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust
cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and
destroyed—today—and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled
with His perfect love.
Day 25: Love forgives
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it
for your sakes in the presence of Christ. —2
Corinthians 2:10
TODAY’S DARE
Whatever
you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask
Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive
our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your
spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
Day 26: Love is responsible
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the
judge, do the same things. —Romans 2:1 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
Take
time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then
humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and
truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they
respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond
with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
Day 27: Love encourages
Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for
I take refuge in You. —Psalm 25:20
TODAY’S DARE
Eliminate
the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where
your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry
for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and
assure them of your unconditional love.
Day 28: Love makes sacrifices
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our
lives for our brothers. —1 John 3:16 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
What
is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need
you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your
part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the
need.
Day 29: Love’s motivation
Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not
to men. —Ephesians 6:7 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
Before
you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs.
Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to
them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving
you the privilege of loving this one special person—unconditionally, the way He
loves both of you.
Day 30: Love brings unity
Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have
given Me, that they may be one even as We are.—John
17:11
TODAY’S DARE
Isolate
one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity
to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is
threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them.
And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
Day 31: Love and marriage
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined
to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.—Genesis
2:24
TODAY’S DARE
Is
there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess
it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your
marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and
to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Day 32: Love meets sexual needs
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise
also the wife to her husband. —1 Corinthians 7:3
TODAY’S DARE
If
at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this
in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about
what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of
you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
Day 33: Love completes each other
If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be
warm alone? —Ecclesiastes 4:11
TODAY’S DARE
Recognize
that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that
you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their
perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit
your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
Day 34: Love celebrates godliness
[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices
with the truth. —1 Corinthians 13:6
TODAY’S DARE
Find
a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in
a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
Day 35: Love is accountable
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they
succeed. —Proverbs 15:22 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Find
a marriage mentor—someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and
loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first
step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your
decisions and discernment.
Day 36: Love is God’s Word
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. —Psalm
119:105
TODAY’S DARE
Commit
to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that
will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will
commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life
to its guidance and start building on the rock.
Day 37: Love agrees in prayer
If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may
ask, it shall be done for them by My Father.—Matthew
18:19
TODAY’S DARE
Ask
your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do
this, whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this
time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t
forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses
to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
Day 38: Love fulfills dreams
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the
desires of your heart. —Psalm 37:4
TODAY’S DARE
Ask
yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer,
and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to
whatever level you possibly can.
Day 39: Love endures
Love never fails. —1 Corinthians 13:8
TODAY’S DARE
Spend
time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your
spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that
you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your
mate will find it.
Day 40: Love is a covenant
Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge.
Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. —Ruth
1:16
TODAY’S DARE
Write out a renewal of your vows and
place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements
to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present.
Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high
honor of being one with your mate.
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